THE BLASPHEMER HAS DECREED THAT IN RESPONSE TO THE INSUFFERABLE TIDE OF HOLIDAY “CHEER,” A COUNTER-OFFENSIVE MUST BE LAUNCHED. ANOTHER CONTEST OF WILLS SHALL BE INITIATED IN THE COMING HOURS FOR ANOTHER BARGAIN BIN BLASPHEMY ORIGINAL ARTIFACT.
THE BLASPHEMER WISHES IT KNOWN THAT THIS IS NOT DUE TO SUCH BASE IDIOCY AS “OVERWHELMING POPULAR DEMAND.” THE BLASPHEMER CARES NOT FOR YOUR PITEOUS WHIMPERINGS. THE BLASPHEMER DOES NOT EVEN LIKE YOU. BUT THE BLASPHEMER REQUIRES THE STRENGTH OF YOUR LEGION TO MOCK AND BRUTALIZE ALL THINGS “CHEERFUL” AND “PLEASANT.”
Hail the Eternal Darkness. For nigh a season’s turn have I fixed my gaze upon the shrieking void, ensorcelled by the horror incarnate which I humbly manifest in these my blasphemies. Yea verily, at length I have heard your pathetic supplications, o initiates of the abyssal depths, clamoring that you might again chance to possess these tokens of eldritch portent for the greater glory of He Who Dwells Within The Catacombs Of The Unlight.
The time has come to once again sow the seeds of discord and sacrilege, whence we shall reap the destruction of humanity. Further blasphemies shall soon be available to you, to scour this world in the name of the whispering darkness. Legions: You have been warned.